all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
