i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
