Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
