So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
