It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
