I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
