i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
