I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
