Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
