Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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