i just google imaged poop.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
