all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
