During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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