Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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