??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
