1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
