Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Farmville is her only friend.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
