is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
