Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is Oprah even human
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
