i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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