Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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