i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
