She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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