i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So much Jack, so little girl.
Holy shit dude........stairs
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
