U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
