You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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