YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
