I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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