Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
