Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
