Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
