I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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