I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
