at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
and i looked up. we had an audience...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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