I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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