It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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