You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
