Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Someone shit on the floor
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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