I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
