The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
