Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
