I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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