I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
