Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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