Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Randomize
