Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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