Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
