i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
