Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I still have a little drunk in my system
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize