i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
