Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
