So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she told me i tasted like america
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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