I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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